Great Escape to Berlin

There aren’t many hotels that command their own adjective. Few of us will ever describe a restaurant as “a bit dorchestery”, for instance. That’s because The Ritz is still the first name in luxury, albeit one that is now mostly owned by the Carlton Company.

And so it was we pulled up at the Ritz-Carlton in Berlin after a taxing 24 hours that included the delivery of a best man speech, a vodka-fuelled party until 6am and a bumpy three-hour trip from deep in Poland to the heart of Berlin with what can only be described as ‘a bit of a head’.

We arrived to the kind of welcome normally reserved for international heads of state or Elton John. I’ve never been smiled at so intensely. Maybe they thought I was ill and had only weeks to live. It probably looked like it. Regardless, they were astonishingly friendly.

As luck would have it we were given a room on the Club level. This ‘hotel within a hotel’ experience means you get to stay on the 10th or 11th floor and need never leave, remaining instead in luxurious seclusion while being fed endless goodies or exotic booze in the Club Lounge area.

The room itself was spectacular: gargantuan bed, endless TV channels, exceptional fruit – but what was this? A lamp that didn’t work? At the Ritz?? We giggled, imagining how mortified the staff would be if only they knew. This may sound ridiculous but the Ritz-Carlton, Berlin is all about customer service. ALL about customer service.

It’s nigh-impossible to go anywhere in the hotel without being pleasantly bombarded with smiles, polite enquiries as to your wellbeing and even (gulp) banter. Call reception and they’re there in a flash. The thought that one of their guests has a faulty lamp could be enough to push one of them over the edge.

After a club sandwich and a short kip we headed downstairs to the Curtain Club bar for further refreshment. The ambience of this place, named after a former London private club, evokes images of TS Eliot, fat-cigar decadence and the 1920s. The cocktails were great: the bloody mary found under Hangover Cures was potent, spicy and to the point; the toffee martini delicious; the white Russian verging on the illegal. There was also a piano. I was just about to play it (the bloody marys were kicking in) when much to the relief of my girlfriend an employee stepped up and tinkled ivory for a small group of Americans.

I feel it’s important to point out that the hotel comes complete with its very own Beefeater. He’s there to look English, frighten little children and announce the grand opening of the Curtain Club at six every evening. I didn’t catch his name but he was jocular and bearded. Perhaps the Ritz-Carlton, Berlin is where old Beefeaters come to die?

If only for the purpose of a rounded review we began the following day at the hotel gym. Though limited in size it’s clean, new and high quality. The pool too is bijou and swanky, featuring a crystal ceiling and a raised Jacuzzi at one end. In that respect it’s certainly up there with Park Road Baths of Crouch End.

Breakfast in the Club Lounge was a delight. Obviously there’s everything you could want and more (you should be getting the picture by now). Owing to its limited size – you’re dining with, at best, six other tables – the service is highly personal. I recommend the omelette.

With only 48 hours in Berlin, we barely scratched the surface of one of Europe’s greatest capital cities. Whether you want to see the remnants of the Berlin Wall, drink coffee in the modern Sony Centre, visit the Reichstag for a tour, tea and teacake combo (book online in advance, it’s worth it) or try the fine restaurants across this sprawling metropolis (we ate at two, both astoundingly good), you won’t be disappointed.

Our evening was rounded off in style at the hotel’s French restaurant Brasserie Desbrosses. Steak for me, tuna for m’lady. Both perfect. We turned in happy.

You may recall that the Berlin Ritz is all about customer service. Truth be told, it goes well beyond that. The staff here go some distance out of their way to make you feel at home, to engage and ensure your stay is as pleasant as it truly could be. More than the luxury on offer – and there’s plenty of that – this is what characterises the place. For here is a hotel with personality, one you will most likely want to spend some time with.

€295 per single room, €325 per double; +49 (0)30 33 7777; ritzcarlton.com. For more lifestyle insight and ideas visit tenlifestyle.com or follow @tenlifestyle