Everyone’s talking about this Extel survey thing – is it worth my interest?

The Extel survey adds yet more rivalry and competitiveness to an industry that’s already ridden with both. The buyside (for example, fund managers, hedge funders, etc) as well as some corporates vote on whom they believe is the best analyst, salesman, donut seller, etc in the City. These votes are then collated and, every June, league tables are then published.

To the untrained eye these are a total waste of time that simply pander to Cityboys’ eternal need to participate in a macho willy-wagging competition, but for those in the know they play a vital role in the “invisible hand” of capitalism. This is theoretically the case because these surveys ensure a fund manager, for example, is more likely to listen to a rated analyst and therefore receive decent advice – thus enhancing his chances of successfully investing in companies with the best prospects.

Of course, in reality, the Extel survey is only important for 1) bragging about down the bar and 2) because headhunters use it religiously when deciding who to call. Since calls from these hideous parasites are vital when moving job – or threatening to do so – the Extel Survey is without doubt the most important thing in the whole wide world.

I keep getting stock tips from colleagues – should i act on them?

Back in the 1970s lucrative stock tips, invariably based on inside information, were one of the key incentives to become a banker. Indeed, even in the 1990s, at the start of my career, most trips to the bar with colleagues inevitably ended with hushed whispers about “ten baggers” and “no-brainers”, generally from well-lubricated barrow-boy traders.

As a foolish young ingénue I would often put a few grand on these “hot tips” and occasionally they came good. The problem was that the peak of my PA trading bonanzas took place with internet stocks in 1999 and green energy stocks in 2007. As a rule spivs don’t tip solid blue chips but rather dodgy penny stocks – so, frankly, instead of backing these punts I might as well have invested my hard-earned dosh on a 20/1 shot at Kempton Park.

My advice is not to bother. Most firms now prohibit PA trading and in these compliance-heavy uncertain times getting Aunty Marge to invest on your behalf is a risk it’s not worth taking. The only sure-fire punt is one based on inside info and if you’re going down that road you might as well start robbing grannies and be done with it.

Should I focus on doing my job as well as possible or maximising my pay packet?

You may not believe this but there are some people out there who think that there is a genuine correlation between how well you do your City job and how much you get paid. Extraordinary, I know. While over the long-term your salary may vaguely reflect your achievements, two bankers who bring in a similar amount of profit for their firm can, and often do, earn very different incomes.

These discrepancies generally relate to how good an individual is at “playing the game”, aka giving their boss the impression that they have job offers elsewhere and will walk unless “treated properly.” This is why subtle overheard telephone conversations with head hunters (actually the speaking clock) can be a real boon one month before bonuses are decided. Moving job is also another way to hike up your package and should be done every few years unless your firm really are showering you with moollah.

What it all comes down to is how long term your vision is. If you think you’ll be doing the same job in 15 years then focus on building up a reputation as a solid revenue generator. However, if you’re up for making a fast buck (as I was) then work out what will boost next year’s bonus (stealing thunder, blackmail, sexual favours, etc) and worry about next year, next year.

Do you have any questions for Professor Cityboy? Email them to letters@squaremile.com. Follow him on Twitter: @cityboylondon