I ghost my butler. Now, there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. Yet on arrival at Sandals Regency La Toc, Saint Lucia, all I need initially is rest. I arrive after an eight-hour flight, minimal sleep, and a winding drive.
Despite being handed a ‘butler phone’, I’m too tired to focus on the instructions about how to actually summon said butler – a personalised service that comes as part of the package when you stay in a newly built Rondoval Suite. Instead, I take a load off and enjoy the view – palm trees sway softly overhead, fountains gently trickle into pools below, and I pinch myself that I am here alone in this homely slice of paradise.
And pinch myself I must, as under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be able to stay on my tod here – Sandals is a couples-only resort. Fortunately for me, investigative journalism counts as an exception. In the Rondoval Village, despite it nearly being at capacity, I barely see another soul, let alone a pair of soulmates. It’s an oasis of calm within the 220-acre resort, a stone’s throw from the quiet side of the beach but just far enough away from the main pool with its aqua aerobics, manager’s cocktail hour, and rotating couple-based activities.
The luxurious Rondoval Village was previously built on what was once the resort’s golf course. Fear not – if you’re looking to swing your clubs, your stay includes play at Sandals Cap Estate Golf & Country Club with complimentary transfers 40 minutes up the coast. Once you dine at the Creole-inspired family-style restaurant, Buccan, nestled within this village, you won’t mind teeing off further afield.
Buccan restaurant
The resort has ten restaurants – offering various world cuisines – but Buccan was my favourite. The food here is sublime, a highlight of my stay. They serve everything from coal-pot classics to chargrilled meats and refreshing salads, alongside innovative rum sours. Dimly lit rattan lamp shades flutter in the breeze, the flames of the kitchen exposed in a mesmerising open-kitchen backdrop.
Despite the obvious romantic overtones of a Sandals resort, I’m not too depressed about flying solo here. Who needs a husband when a butler picks me a fresh flower as he delivers my lunch and runs me a bath upon my return from my day’s adventures? (Take note, gentlemen.)
He comes equipped with his own human ringtone: ‘It’s the butleeeeeer!’ he cries as he regularly delivers a replenishment of tonic to accompany the Tanqueray bottle in my room’s minibar (also included – I really like this place). I’d like to send any future spouse of mine to Sandals’ butler school, actually. With service like this, and an unlimited stash of local Piton Lager in the fridge, there’s almost no reason to do anything but soak in the private pool and transform myself into a Caribbean raisin.
Explore the villa below
Except there is. It’s Saint Lucia, after all. An island renowned for volcanic landscapes, beautiful beaches, friendly communities, and vibrant culture. And there’s no bad time to visit. Dry season runs from December to April but rainy season more than makes up for it with a stream of activities and events to ensure you have a memorable stay whatever the weather.
While here, I become familiar with the real Saint Lucian ways of partying. We manage to wangle an invite to a pre-carnival concert. It turns out Carnival isn’t a one-day parade here, but a month-long event running from 1-23 July with pre-events showcasing costumes, crowning musical monarchs, and selecting chosen kings and queens of each band.
There’s a huge amount of dedication that goes into running this event. We catch the Junior Parade before we leave and I almost weep – in a good way – at a troupe of adorable six-year-old pharaohs dancing in their tiny golden trousers and striped headdresses. Legends.
Wish you were here?
Costume designer and production director Adrian Augier of carnival-winning band Tribe of Twel chats to us as he puts the finishing touches to opulent costumes – each more than 18 feet tall – in their warehouse. He explains how Carnival is becoming an ever-redefining cultural moment. There are conflicting priorities between organisers, not just here in Saint Lucia but all over the Caribbean, as many work hard to ensure the exported carnival image isn’t just that of bums, booze, and bling (though there’s plenty of that, too).
Instead, Carnival is a chance to represent the island’s real historical culture. There’s a serious amount of care, craft, scheduling and storytelling that goes into this annual event. Many, like those in Tribe of Twel, are working hard to ensure that theatrical magic and tradition of carnival’s origin is upheld.
If you manage to visit during carnival, note that it’s predominantly an event to participate in, not just a spectator sport. Expect the island to be busy, wear comfortable shoes, get familiar with soca music, and move along to the beat of the eight kilometres of kaleidoscopic activity which sweeps the streets. Then head back to Sandals for a spot of peaceful respite.
The villas at sunset
If island life for you means the great outdoors, then Saint Lucia is a perfect match. It’s certainly well-endowed for the adventurous. Sandals’ room rates include snorkelling, sailing, paddle-boarding, kayaking, and scuba-diving. Plus, they’re able to help arrange additional day trips between the postcard-worthy Pitons to hike, swim, or snorkel.
Sea-sick? Scared of open water? Don’t fancy climbing with your legs? Then get your thrills on land with an ATV tour through an off-road track between banana farms up to a community village. Learn about coconut shelling then meet a real Rastafarian who can tell you about midwifing his 12 children before you jump back on the quad, and plunge steep gradients (at what feels like a near-death 9mph) on your four-wheeler.
And if you’re more interested in indulgence than adrenaline, then head to a chocolate-making experience at the Howelton Estate. The sweeping views up to the top of the island allow me to get my bearings, and with the knowledge of a short drive, I lick my mortar and pestle with glee before the drive back to the resort where I plan to eat my handiwork and sink another gin in my freshly-drawn bath. Bliss.
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An all-inclusive stay at La Toc’s Rondoval Village from £3,160 per person. Prices vary on season and availability. For more information visit: sandals.co.uk. Your stay grants you complimentary transfers and dining with Sandals Halcyon Beach and Sandals Grande St Lucian also on the island. For more on Saint Lucia, head to stlucia.org
