You know the phrase, ‘too much of a good thing?’ No, we don’t like it, either. Sure, there are certain good things in which it’s possible to overindulge: Krispy Kreme donuts, tequila slammers, cocaine. But by and large, if a thing is good, you want as much of it as possible.

Nobody has ever gazed upon a Caribbean sunset and said, “You know what? This is just too damn idyllic. We need more wind turbines.” Nor have many people strolled into their castle (I could just end the sentence there), only to experience a pang of regret that the surrounding palm trees aren’t in fact uncollected rubbish bins.

And we can more or less guarantee that if you were somehow able to combine these two very good things to make one stupendous thing – aka a castle in the Caribbean – you will spend all your waking hours murmuring to yourself in a blissful haze, “Oh my word, I can’t believe I own a castle in the Caribbean” and not once will thought occur to you that, actually, a castle in the Caribbean is too much of a good thing, if only it were a semi-detached three-bedroom in Stoke.

Oh, look? What do we have here?

This particular Caribbean castle stands on a mountaintop that overlooks both the north and south coast of St Croix. (Great view, also handy for repelling invaders.)

The land was purchased by Bulgarian Contessa Nadia Farber, who understandably was rather smitten with the whole ‘this is basically paradise’ vibe – plus the strategic advantages offered by the hill.

Naturally, she decided to design and build her dream abode, aka a castle. (The Contessa sounds like a hoot.)

The castle and gatekeeper’s cottage comprise nearly 10,000 interior square feet – presumably most of that is castle – and are influenced by the Moorish and oriental architecture of Bulgaria. Work was completed in 1989 but the Contessa kept acquiring land to assemble a 102-acre estate.

The estate is considered St Croix's most desirable location, even if its address – 13 North Slob – sounds less appealing.

The yacht club is right next door – pop in for a cup of tea – and the estate’s sheltered lagoon is just opposite the spectacular Buck Island National Park. 

Good things, you can’t have enough of ’em. 

13 North Slob EB St Croix is on the market for £7.6m. For more info, see christiesrealestate.com