Ten sticky notes which perfectly capture the world of work

Chaz Hutton's musings on life in the form of illustrated sticky notes have produced a massive Instagram following and now a book, entitled A Sticky Note Guide to Life. Here are of ten of his peerless observations on the working day

by Chaz Hutton

I want to see universities creating real-life work environments, where basically one person is charged with getting the project done, and then two or three people need to work under them, but these two or three people will obviously be either working on a different project at an entirely different university or they’ll just call in sick and be entirely unavailable. Everyone will still get a pass for the project.

It’s now nearly impossible to work out if the internet has increased mankind‘s rate of innovation or actually slowed it down a bit with the collective number of hours we’ve lost to cat videos.

If we’re going to have a fire drill, let’s do it properly and set the building on fire. Make that thing realistic.

People always offer up that advice when you’re starting out – the old Fake it till you make it – but what the advice should really be is: Understand that everyone else is faking it till they make it, no matter how long they’ve been doing it.

Stop it. Just. Stop it. Nobody cares about your cute little name for Wednesday. Most of the people in this office that you assume are your friends are already considering not telling you about their Friday after-work drinks plans, and you excitedly proclaiming that Wednesday represents the peak of a metaphorical week-long mountain as you bound into the office is probably going to clinch it for them.

I know, the truth hurts.

Newton, Einstein, Hawking. These are just a few people who have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to astrophysics and spacetime. What none of them identified was that the Earth’s gravitational pull is actually created by a concentration of work microwaves. Put enough work microwaves in a room and you’ll slow time to a standstill while you stare into the abyss that is Linda’s leftover Indian takeaway, slowly reheating for eternity.

‘Where have you been for the last two hours?’

‘Um ... in a meeting ... with, aaah ... myself ... which was a private meeting that I also can’t talk about. Anyway, I’m going home now, bye!'

People who unthinkingly regurgitate pseudo-philosophical platitudes will tell you that you should find something you love, and then make it your job. However, I am yet to find anyone willing to pay me to stand around completely naked and half drunk while microwaving different fruit just to see what happens to it after certain amounts of time.

Coincidently enough, Edmund and Tenzing arrived at the summit of Mount Everest just before lunch on a Friday. Meanwhile Buzz and Neil didn’t arrive on the Moon till Sunday, having left for work the previous Wednesday, which, along with a few other notable records, still stands as the world’s longest commute to work.